According to the ancient authors wives of others are easier to seduce by sending female messengers then the girls. The girls like the efforts of the man; while the wives of the other likes more of female messengers. But Vatsayana's Kamasutra is of opinion that man should always try it by his own and only take the help of female messenger when the situation is very complicated or not at all possible. It can be said that the woman who talks boldly and freely can be won by the personal efforts of the man but for the opposite group one should employ female messengers.
If the man is doing the work by himself, first of all he should do something for the acquaintances of each other. And in order to do this he should do the following: He can arrange some meeting place where they can meet each other either on a natural or special way or opportunity. A natural opportunity is when they go each other's house, and a special opportunity is when they meet either at the house of a friend, or a caste-fellow, a minister, a physician, and also on the occasion of marriage ceremonies, sacrifices, festivals, funerals, and garden parties.
Kamasutra states that in their meeting the man should try to make her understand about the state of his mind by pulling his moustache, making a sound with his nails, tinkling his own ornaments, biting his lower lip, and make various other signs to illustrate his intention. When she is looking at him he should speak to his friends about her and other women, and should show her his liberality and his appreciation of enjoyments. When sitting by the side of a female friend he can yawn and twist the body, contract his eyebrows, speak very slowly as if he was tired, and listen to her indifferently.
A double meaning conversation should be carried on with a child or some other person actually with the reference to the woman he loves. He should make marks with her reference, on the earth with his nails, or with a stick, and should embrace and kiss a child in front of her, and give it betel nut and betel leaves with his tongue, and press its chin with his fingers in a caressing way. All these things should be done at the proper time and in proper places.
Batsayana's Kamasutra affirms that the man in such a meeting actually tries to get acquainted with the girl. He can converse with the child sitting in his lap in such a manner that the girl becomes familiar to him. All this can initiate his visit to the girl's house where he goes frequently and talks about love in her absence. But in this situation he sees that the girl can hear all these talks..He should try her to get in touch with his own wife and make them converse on confidential topics in some lonely places. In order to see her frequently he should arrange same goldsmith, same jeweler, basket maker, dyer, and the same washer man for the two families.
In his long visits he usually gets engaged with her on business, and another, so as to keep up the intercourse between them. At the time of her need of money or wishes to acquire skill in one of the arts, he should always make her sure that he is there for her. In the same way he should discuss with her about doings and sayings of other persons, and examine different things, like jewellery, precious stones, etc. he can show some of the precious jewellery to her also should talk about the values of them with her but in case she contradicts with him he should make her sure that he is with her in every possible way.
Thus according to Kamasutra here ends the ways of making the acquaintance of woman desired.Now when the girl is well acquainted with the man she expresses her love by means of some signs and symbols and the man also then tries to gain her over. If the girl is not habituated with sexual activities she should be treated gracefully and the man should take considerable precaution while the process can differs in case of experienced woman. When the man and the woman gets closure they exchange clothes as well as flowers. The man gives her handsome and valuable gifts, and receives some betel nuts and betel leaves from her. Sometimes he gives her sweet smelling flowers marked by his nails or teeth. In this way they can go to a lonely place where by means of exchanging flowers or receiving betel nuts, he touches and presses her private parts and thus concludes the whole process in a satisfactory manner.
Kamasutra also edifies that a man should not attempt to seduce a woman when he is already engaged with another. But after spending a considerable time with the woman with full satisfaction, he starts to present some gifts according to her likings, and starts falling into another woman. If a man sees that the husband of a woman is going to some place near the house, he should not try to get pleasure from her even if she is willing to do so. A wise man who is very particular about his reputation should not try to get involved with the following types of woman: a woman who is hesitant, nervous, mistrusted, well guarded, or possessed of a father-in-law, or mother-in-law.