(Last Updated on : 19-12-2008)
This Part 3 , Chapter V of the Kamasutra illustrates the diverse forms of marriages, which according to Vatsayana, are not only the social institutions but also a true union of the souls.
When a woman fails to meet the man recurrently in a private place. She usually sends the daughter of her nurse who is very intimate and trustworthy, to him. The girl sent by the woman then after meeting him starts talking on different topics like about birth, good character, the beauty, talent, skill, positive sides of human nature and ultimately put before him the affection of the girl, but she does this in such a manner that he doesn't get a feel that she sends her to him. In this way she become succeeded to grow love and respect for the woman at the man's heart. She does the same work in case of the woman also, she tells all superior habits of the man, especially those who always attracts a woman. She criticizes all the other lovers of the woman and the negative points about their parents.
She tells some story of ancient times like Shakuntala and other women, who married according to their own choice lived happily their life ever after whereas the women who got married into great families after being troubled by other wives, became depressed and unhappy and finally feel discarded. She also speaks about the good fortune, the continual happiness, chastity, obedience, and affection of the man and finally if the woman gets passionate about the man the girl should try to alleviate her fear about the doubts and worries she has about her marriage. Thus the girl successfully meets the part of a female messenger by telling about all the affection and good habits of the man and about the ways or attempts he usually makes to meet her and thus she tries to convince her that id the man takes him away forcibly and unexpectedly it should be fine with her.
In Part 3 , Chapter V of Kamasutra, different forms of marriages are described as follows:
When a man and a woman are engaged and acts as a husband-wife, if the man lit the fire and spread some kusha grass on it and by some religious offering moves round the fire. They regard as husband wife by the religious law. And after that he informs about the incident to his parents with confidence because no one can oppose the marriage, which is solemnized in presence of fire.
Kamasutra says, that after the consummation of marriage
, they gradually feel for each other and also meet the responsibility, thus overlooking the past give consent to the marriage and afterwards accepted it with affectionate presence and complimentary conduct. Thus in this way the man marries the girl .
According to the Gandharva
form of marriage.
When the girl is in doubt and cannot decide or show her willingness about marriage; the man then apply some of the following ways to get hold of her:
On an appropriate time or chance, under any appropriate reason, he requests one of his female friends with whom he is well acquainted, can trust, and also well known to the girl's family to bring the girl out of her house and then follow the religious rituals with fire and all and thus get married.
If the marriage of the girl is fixed with some other man and the date comes near, the man then criticized that man the most to the girl's mother and when the girl comes to a neighbour's house with her mother's consent, he brings fire from the house of a brahman
and thus get married with all the divine law.
Sometimes the man tries to become a friend of the brother of the girl and assist him many ways like going to the courtesans, maneuvering with the wives of other people and also sometimes gives him presents. By doing all these he succeeded to become a great friend of him and then tells him about the love he possesses for his sister. Since he gains the confidence of her brother by this time, he brings his sister out of the house and then the man performs the holy rule of marriage in presence of the fire.
At some event or festival the man arrange the daughter of the nurse to give the girl some intoxicated substance and thus make her unconscious and bring her to some quit place and enjoy her before she recovers from her intoxication. He then brings fire and does the rituals accordingly.
The man with the participation of the daughter of the nurse, carry off the girl from out of her house and get involve into sexual activities before she awakes up and after that brings fire and gets married in the stated way.
If the girl is out of her house in a garden, or to some village in the neighborhood, the man then comes with his friend and by frightening them all he manages to carry her off and marry her in presence of fire.
According to Part 3 , Chapter V of Kamasutra the verses on this subject are as follows:
'In all the forms of marriage given in this chapter of this work, the one that precedes is better than the one that follows it on account of its being more in accordance with the commands of religion, and therefore it is only when it is impossible to carry the former into practice that the latter should be resorted to, As the fruit of all good marriages is love, the Gandharva form of marriage is respected, even though it is formed under unfavorable circumstances, because it fulfils the object sought for. Another cause of the respect accorded to the Gandharva form of marriage is that it brings forth happiness, causes less trouble in its performance than the other forms of marriage, and is above all the result of previous love'.