(Last Updated on : 20/12/2008)
In the previous chapter of kamasutra
it was seen that the girl tries to attract his attention by any means and while doing so the man tries to win over the girl. He does it in the following manner.
He intentionally holds her hand when engaged with her in any game or sport. He practices the various kinds of embraces upon her, such as the touching, embracing, etc. When engaged in water sports, he dives at a distance from her, and comes close to her. He often shows a liking for the new foliage of trees. He expresses his feelings towards her. He relates to her the beautiful dream that he has had with reference to other women. At parties and gatherings of his same caste he sits near her, and touches her body parts. He plays with her toes and vice versa. All these are mainly to show that how much he loves her.
This chapter of kamasutra also offers suggestion to the girls to win over that man who is trying to impress her. Hence a slow touch with the foot and hand are recommended. The idea is to win him over so a half gaze with all those maddening touches can actually do a wonder whist making the man to fall for that girl over and over again.
Vatsayana's Kamasutra is a work of art and therefore portrays the very verve of winning each other in the most eloquent way.
The man should often sprinkle water upon her to make her wet. When he is alone with her in some lonely place or in darkness he makes love to her and tells her the present status of his mind in a very peaceful manner.
The idea of winning over is the crux of this chapter of Kamasutra. It says that when the male and females are sitting together somewhere the man tells the woman that he wants to say her something and when they are alone in a place he expresses his love, he must be very expressive and makes her understand by signs and symbols only. This is how he can generate interest. If the girl's reaction is positive he proceeds and tells the girl rather pretends that he is ill. He tells her to come to his house and when she is there he purposively holds her hand and place on his eyes and forehead. He requests the girl to prepare medicine for him and specifically to do the works personally. He also requests the girl to come and see him next time.
This state of illness can be continued for three days and when the girl comes to see him frequently they gets engaged in long conversations and thus the relation gets stronger. According to Ghotakamukha a man cannot win over a girl without much talking to her. When the man has got a feeling that the girl is completely convinced then he starts to take pleasure in her. It is seen that the girls become free during the evening as compare to the whole day and during night time they develops desire for sexual pleasure, at that time they don't resist men and gets involve in sexual activities.
Sometimes it becomes impossible for the man to carry out the whole process of convincing the girl alone. In that case he takes the help of the daughter of her nurse, or a female friend whom she believes to bring her to him and then starts the above procedure. Sometimes he sends his female friend to her as her friend and then do the whole thing of influencing her in her own way.
Lastly, according to Kamasutra when the man gets the feeling of winning her over and receives some signs by some of her activities. He begins to get pleasure from that girl when gets her alone. In Kamasutra, Vatsayana affirms that when the man proposes an woman in proper place and proper time in a very convincing manner the woman can't refuse that and comes to the man.
A girl who is from a well being family with good qualities and maintains the rules and regulations of her family and caste can marry a person of her choice after reaching to that age. She can choose someone and marry also even without the consent of her parents. She wants to please that handsome and good-looking man in every possible manner whom she likes and thinks that he would love her and make her the queen of his heart. She starts the process of pleasing him by constantly meeting and seeing him, her mother helps her in her way with her female friends or the daughter of her nurse. She also tries to be alone with him sometimes and gives him betel nuts, betel leaves and perfumes. She shows him the skill of her in performing arts, in shampooing or in scratching and pressing with the nails. She talks with him in various subjects according to his choice and different means of convincing a girl and all these aspects are logically impersonated in Vatsayana's Kamasutra.
But according to old authors in spite of the love she has for the man she should not take a drastic step and propose the man because it would be against to her dignity and can be refused or rejected in some cases. But in case the man is proposing her she should approve his proposal and be calm when he embraces her. She should react in a natural way and should give him a feeling that she was completely ignorant about the state of his mind. But of course if the man tries to kiss her she should resist him and if she is requested to get involve in any sexual relation she should give him the opportunity to touch him in her private parts but with little difficulty. In a word she should show some resistance towards every intimacy. Only exception is when she is sure about his love and dedication towards her she should give all her love to him and tries to convince him to marry her as quickly as possible. If she lost her virginity she can tell her friends about it but they must be very faithful to her.
According to Kamasutra here ends the portion of efforts of a girl to gain over a girl.
The verse of Kamasutra on the subject further illustrates it.
'A girl who is much sought after should marry the man that she likes, and whom she thinks would be obedient to her, and capable of giving her pleasure. But when from the desire of wealth a girl is married by her parents to a rich man without taking into consideration the character or looks of the bridegroom, or when given to a man who has several wives, she never becomes attached to the man, even though he be endowed with good qualities, obedient to her will, active, strong, and healthy, and anxious to please her in every way. A husband who is obedient but yet master of himself, though he be poor and not good looking, is better than one who is common to many women, even though he be handsome and attractive. The wives of rich men, where there are many wives, are not generally attached to their husbands, and are not confidential with them, and even though they possess all the external enjoyments of life, still have recourse to other men. A man who is of a low mind, who has fallen from his social position, and who is much given to travelling, does not deserve to be married; neither does one who has many wives and children, or one who is devoted to sport and gambling, and who comes to his wife only when he likes. Of all the lovers of a girl he only is her true husband who possesses the qualities that are liked by her, and such a husband only enjoys real superiority over her, because he is the husband of love.'